My Terrible Night at LAX

Posted on August 17, 2012 by jeannie

After a full day at Ancestral Living Skills Camp at Trestles Beach, I came home to tidy up, roast a chicken, and get showered before driving to LA to pick up Bella and her friend from LAX. Somewhere in that flurry before I left, I got a text from Bella at her layover in Houston, that she was starving, so I packed turkey sandwiches too.

Chad got home just at five, and I left Christian with him.

I figured that 1 hour 40 minutes was plenty of time to drive to LAX from Laguna Niguel, even though I was anticipating traffic and dreading not being able to use the carpool lane (Christian is my free ongoing carpool lane pass).

The cruising was relatively smooth and I got to LAX at 6:30 pm. Not bad, ten minutes to spare. I was feeling smug – I hadn’t gotten lost and I was on time – no sweat! Bella had requested a curbside swoop-up, but I had to pee, so I decided to park.

When I parked I tossed my keys into my backpack and began to hoist it to my shoulders. It was heavy. It was still filled with my empty dish containers from lunch on the beach, bathing suits, and multiple half-filled water bottles. So, I decided to grab my phone, my wallet, and my knitting – dumped my backpack in the trunk for safe-keeping.

And headed off.

I picked up Bella and her friend and we were all smiles and hugs until we got back to my car. AND I DID NOT HAVE MY KEYS. And at that point I had ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION THAT I’D LEFT MY KEYS IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.

In fact, I was certain that I HAD HAD MY KEYS IN THE AIRPORT.

And thus began a very stressful hour of re-tracing my steps, talking to the baggage claim person, calling the police, and ultimately talking to every person wearing any semblance of a uniform at terminal 7. Yep, I talked to the Smart-Carte guy too. And all the custodians, so sure was I that I had lost my keys in the airport.

Meanwhile, Bella and her friend were still hungry, but the food I’d brought for them was sitting tantalizingly in view in a basket on the front passenger seat.

Everybody, I mean everybody, was upset, and mostly upset with me. Chad thought he was going to have to pack Christian up in the car and drive up to rescue me. Plus he was mad that I’d lost the key fob key – the one that always costs $200 to replace. Bella’s friend’s parents were just arriving at my house in Laguna Niguel and pretty irritated that their daughter was still not there. Bella was hungry and just couldn’t believe I was doing this to her and her friend. (You know teenagers, they take everything personally.)

In the end, Bella’s friend’s parents decided to drive up to LAX and get their daughter. Chad managed to get them a spare key to the car. I met them at the curb in front of terminal 7. I gave them their daughter (a very sweet girl) and they handed me a “Welcome Home!” balloon, a box of See’s chocolates, and the spare key to my car.

Bella and I drove home. I was simultaneously relieved and embarrassed to find my keys in my backpack in the trunk of the car.

There’s a lesson here. Is it about not talking on the phone while locking up the car?

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Blood Harmony

Posted on August 7, 2012 by jeannie

I’ve been listening to the Lester Family play and sing music for nearly 20 years. Both Bella and now Christian are growing up listening to “the baby Lesters.” Speaking of which, if you have babies or toddlers about, I highly recommend their CDs full of original music about co-sleeping and nursing babies – and lots of other delicious moments about raising babies attachment parenting style. All the songs are sung by some combination of the five Lester boys and their parents. Both Only My Mama and One More Person to Love are excellent and make great gifts for new families.

My personal favorite, though, is Homestyle Harmony, which teaches you to sing 4- and 5- part a cappella songs.

Of course, THE BEST, is seeing their current bluegrass band, Shadow Mountain, play live at Pappy and Harriet’s on Saturday night with a big plate of wood-fired grilled ribs in front of me. I plan to do that real soon.

Here are two of the Lester babies today – still making music lovely to my ears.

I saw this video first at Darlene’s blog, Living the Good Life, and loved it so much that I wanted it playing on my own site. They are playing a Stanley Brother’s gospel called Glory Land.

Posted in gifts, music | 3 Comments

Gillian vs Jillian

Posted on August 2, 2012 by jeannie

I’m up late again. Back from yet another midnight drop-off at LAX and over-caffeinated as per my custom. My third midnight cruise to LAX in the last month. My theory: airplane tix are so expensive these days that we can only bear to pay for the red-eye flights. It’s like we’re all growing old together, reminiscing about cross-country flights for $200 and the good old days when you could check two bags for free.

Bella and her friend managed to leave for two weeks in Florida with no checked baggage. I was impressed. But I did laugh when Bella’s bag got stuck in the carry-on-bag-measurer (“Your carry-on should fit here”). I laughed harder when I learned that Bella put the bag in HERSELF to make sure it was the right size. What a sweet kid.

The house already feels emptier. It is perhaps because we’ve been spending a lot of time together this last week trying to get to the bottom of her slightly-swollen-optic-nerve. So far, all tests have come back normal; so as the doc says, he’s ruled out the bad guys (cancer, tumor, diabetes, glaucoma), but he wants to continue to monitor her. The eye ultrasound was a strange one. She got goop all over her eyelid while the doc moved the sensor around and we morbidly watched the inside of her eye on the computer monitor. Just so you know, Bella has no symptoms and doesn’t believe anything is wrong with her at all. I’m tending to believe the same, but a mom’s got to be careful.

And worse than a house emptier by a fourth, I’m between books. I hate that feeling. It’s worse than the end of a moving sidewalk (I’m aware that I overuse that analogy).

Two summer reads: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and I Couldn’t Love You More by Jillian Medoff.

Gone Girl is funny and sharp. I started it thinking that it was going to be a psychological wrestle between husband and wife at the end of a sour marriage; and Flynn does have an excellent eye for that irritation we can feel only towards a spouse, but this book is definitely a thriller, and I’m not that into thrillers or investigative detective books. The writing is strong, but I feel that Flynn went a mite over the edge in her portrayal of her characters. They were so believable (not likable though) to start. The structure of the book is clever too, alternating between husband and wife’s perspective, but each voice starting at a different point in the timeline, and then catching up and overlapping eachother. It’s worth picking up for a summer read.

I Couldn’t Love You More is ALSO funny and sharp. Actually funnier and sharper, because the scathing wit is often between three sisters who have grown up with a single writer mom. It’s a house full of unbit tongues. Rare that I have ever seen sisters portrayed that reminded me and my own sister. There is tons of psychological wrestling between everybody, which is how I see life too. There are many more characters in this novel – and I appreciated Medoff’s attention to their relationships: step-children, ex-wives, mothers, boyfriends, kids, lovers. I could feel the love buoying them all up, but also the pain of holding a blended family together and the difficulty of making it through the day. Medoff is a serious crafter of words and her dialogue is definitely going to make a good movie. There is one silly distraction in the overly-optimistic corporate memos sprinkled throughout that the protagonist writes for work – those could be dropped – but all-in-all, Medoff comes out ahead in Gillian vs Jillian.

One clip:

“You want to know what I wonder, Eliot?”

I brace myself. expecting her to say something else about loving me or something memorable about our relationship, I will myself not to cry again. “What?”

“Why is it when Dolores sends you e-mails, she writes, ‘I love you,’ but when she sends me e-mails, she doesn’t write anything? Sometimes she writes, ‘Love ya’ But don’t you think that if she really loved me, she’d write ‘I love you’ every time?”

I blink, waiting for more, but that’s it. This isn’t a joke – my sister is dead serious.

“I don’t think it means anything, Sylvia. you know she loves you. I love you, too” I pause. “But since when have you been reading my emails?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been reading your e-mails for years. Your stupid password is ELIOTG.” Then she sighs. “God, I feel so much better. That ‘Love ya’ thing has been bothering me forever.”

Posted in books | 3 Comments

Summer Visit, Instagrammed

Posted on July 25, 2012 by jeannie

My sister was here for ten days with my two nieces, and I feel pretty sure that it was the highlight of my summer. With a highlight like that, I need the rest of the summer to recover anyway. Our three combined kids were high-energy go-go-go, and it always seemed best to get out of the house as soon as possible each morning.

We got to spend time at Dinosaur Park (did you know that that there is a box of excavated dirt in the community center that you can sift through and find real, live fossils?);

swimming every day either in our little community pool or the big one at Rancho Niguel;

playing at Strands Beach (parking there is free);

surfing (with gentle instruction by Eric) at San Onofre State Beach – talk to me if you are interested, because we’re going to do a couple more surfing days this summer;

attending two days of forest kindergarten at O’Neill Regional Park and Aliso Creek;

exploring at Pretend City (Sue got me and C an annual pass for a belated b-day gift. whipee!):

and eating lots of Mexican food on the go (Golodrinas, homemade nachos, chips and salsa…)

There was no room for Disneyland (whew) or even Trabuco Creek (a bit hot anyway). We had fun and I miss my sweet nieces. They were really fun to have around. Must start saving for a 2013 or 2014 month-long trip to Melbourne!

 

Posted in beach, family | Leave a comment

500 Miles from Home

Posted on June 28, 2012 by jeannie

I suppose 500 miles is a reasonable distance for a first day’s travel. I suppose that even if I were running away, this is about as far as I could get in a day. I’m not running away, but it sure feels good to be running – on the road and everything new.

Almost everything new. It’s shocking how similar things are in cities in Arizona; the 17 highway from Phoenix (93 degrees at 9 pm!) was lined with the same big box stores as everywhere: Best Buy, Guitar Center, TJ Maxx…

But in Tonopah (off the 40 between Blythe and Phoenix) I ate delicious chile rellenos stuffed with beef at Tonopah Joe’s Family Restaurant where the whirring ceiling fans and muttered Spanish from the neighboring table (three men signing papers) created a surreal vibe that I enjoyed. Christian ran free in the space, which was enormous – but mostly blocked off by stacked chairs except for the six booths in the front.

I was carrying a knife in my purse, as is my wont as a forest kindergarten instructor, but nobody asked me any questions. My lululemon yoga gear apparently makes me look safe.

The moon was brilliant in the mountains as I approached Flagstaff. My arms got whipped with the brisk night wind out the sun roof. The temperature here is perfect for sleeping. Earlier when we had stepped out after dinner into the desert oven, Christian looked up at me and said, Why is it hot? It’s nighttime! In the desert, sun roofs are best reserved for the starry nights. We had one pee break at Sunset City rest area (past Blythe on the 40) and man, it was scorching. It did not make me miss the desert one bit.

I almost veered off the highway to check into The Motel in the Pines (17 miles south of Flagstaff), but suddenly realized that I was less willing to take risks while traveling with Christian, even though his company makes me feel less alone. I decided to ride all the way to the Motel 6 at the 40 junction, which Chad had already scoped for a swimming pool. It’s fine here. We’ll walk over to the strip mall across the street in the morning for breakfast and go for a swim before we leave. I plan to bunk somewhere in Amarillo tomorrow night. Five hundred mile chunks each day is the general plan, with a layover to visit a friend in Nashville. West coast to east coast. Should be a good road trip.

We snacked on org. raspberries, TJ cheese crackers, salt and vinegar chips, apples, carrots, and chicken sandwiches. And See’s lollipops. C calls the raspberries on his fingers “Spidey shooters.”

Posted in travel | 1 Comment

Snake Bite Kit = Cell Phone

Posted on June 7, 2012 by jeannie

Just back from a pleasant mom’s night out.

I went to a rattlesnake talk at The Reserve at Ranch Mission Viejo in San Juan Capistrano.

This Southwestern Speckled Rattlesnake clearly shows two of the three telltale signs of a dangerous pit viper: a rattle and a wedge-shaped head.

Steve Bledsoe (and Noah Anderson), two avocational herpetologists, gave an excellent presentation tonight. I got permission from Steve to share a version here. I am including my weak photographs for quick reference to the three kinds of rattlers found in Orange County plus a comparison shot with a Gopher Snake. There are much better photographs at the Southwestern Field Herping Associates website, www.swfieldherp.com, and at www.californiaherps.com.

I came in a bit late (Noah assured me that I only missed a few bad jokes…), right as Steve was explaining the three main ways of identifying a rattler versus a harmless snake.

A rattler has

1) a rattle at the end of the its tail. Obvious, but keep in mind that baby rattlers might only have a “button” and sometimes rattles fall off through accident or injury.

2) retractable fangs. These bad boys have hollow fangs that fold back into the top of their mouth when not in use.

3) an obvious large triangular head due to the venom glands. A harmless snake has a narrow head that is often an indistinguishable extension of the slender body. The head can also be described as heart-shaped, diamond-shaped, or spade-shaped (nearly all the suits).

Southern Pacific Rattlesnake - Think this is what I've seen. The juvenile was reddish, though.

Furthermore, rattlesnakes have thick heavy bodies in comparison to harmless snakes. (Steve showed excellent pictures to illustrate all these things. I highly recommend catching his powerpoint presentation if you can.)

Rattlesnakes have cat eyes or elliptical pupils (which make them look extra scary – like Voldemort ). A harmless snake like a gopher has round pupils (friendly!)

All the venomous snakes in OC are pit vipers. And so, they have two pits (read: holes) in the front of their face which are highly specialized heat sensors. In fact, pit vipers see the world in terms of heat, just like another movie bad guy, the Predator.

Rattlers use their forked tongue to aggressively look fearsome by letting it hang out for several seconds and then flipping it up and repeating this action over and over. A harmless snake uses its tongue for “smelling” only and flicks it quickly in and out.

Keep in mind that snakes are deaf and will be terrified of you long before you appear on the trail. Snakes feel the vibrations of your tramping heavy footsteps and will resort to their best choice defense mechanism – staying stock still or “hiding in plain sight.” If freezing doesn’t work, then they will try to slither away. If threatened, a rattlesnake will rattle and hiss. This is a last attempt to scare you away.

Red Diamond Rattlesnake

What should you do if you see a rattlesnake? BACK AWAY SLOWLY. Under no circumstances will a snake come after you.

What should you do it you hear a snake but don’t see it? FREEZE and find the snake visually so that you do not inadvertently walk towards the snake.

What should you do if you get bit? RELAX AND CALL 911. No seriously, relax. The best thing to keep your heart from pumping and spreading venom throughout your body is to breathe slowly and deeply and relax (think about Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and how he meditated to stop the poison from flowing).

DO NOT cut and suck, apply tourniquets, or drink alcohol or caffeine.

DO wrap the affected limb in an ace bandage to slow swelling, use a splint to restrict movement, and apply a cold washcloth to the forehead because nausea is common.

Your best shot is getting to a hospital ASAP so you can get a dose of anti-venom, which here in OC is a broad spectrum, poly-valent anti-venom, called Crofab, and is used for all poisonous snake bites in OC.

Your best snake bite kit is your cell phone and a GPS. Know your lat-long (latitude-longitude) if you are in the back country.

Some snake bite facts to keep in mind:

35% of all poisonous snake bites are DRY. That means that NO VENOM is injected.

Bites from large rattlesnakes are MORE dangerous than bites from juveniles. It is a common misconception that rattlers control venom dosage – nor do baby rattlers strike repeatedly. Bigger snakes have more venom, They also have larger, longer fangs.

In 2009 there were 5,234 snake bites reported. Of these, only three were fatal. That is less than .1%. So, while a rattlesnake bite is serious, it is very unlikely you will die from it.

The common and useful Gopher Snake is often fatally mistaken for a rattlesnake. He actually pretends to be a rattler by flattening his head, coiling, and shaking his rattle-less tail. Note that his tail is thin and narrow. His pupils are round, and his head is still narrow.

Steve also leads snake walks at Casper’s Wilderness Park in the spring. I took Christian on one (see post here) but after Steve saw all the kids I had in tow (3-4 families showed up) he moved the age of the hikes up to a minimum of 8 years old. Heh, heh. I guess I push people to set boundaries.

Note: Steve highly recommends Jeffrey Lemm’s Field Guide to Amphibians and Reptiles of the San Diego Region. (Dang it – I still don’t have my affiliate program set up! And this a book I can wholehearted support buying.)

A BIG THANK YOU TO STEVE AND NOAH FOR ALL THEIR VOLUNTEER WORK IN THIS COMMUNITY!

Posted in camping, critters, hiking, south OC | 1 Comment

Letters from Strangers

Posted on May 31, 2012 by jeannie

Due to womantalk.org I sometimes get random letters from strangers.

Sometimes, I am asked to write (and get paid).

I have been asked to officiate a wedding (I did – and got paid).

I have been asked to do Waldorf-style puppet shows (surprisingly, this was the most money for the smallest amount of work).

And occasionally, people ask me for advice (even men). It shouldn’t surprise me. I’ve always related to Lucy in the Charlie Brown comic strip – remember how she would set up a cardboard booth with a sign “Psychiatric Help – 5 cents”? Yeah, that’s me: an opinion about everything and a convincing demeanor.

I don’t post their letters unless I have permission. And sometimes I am not comfortable even asking for permission. Here is my response to an email I received recently.

“Hello XXXX,

I am very touched that you would reach out to me. Your circumstances sounds difficult.

It sounds like you are very worried about being a distant mother, although, I have to say that just your level of concern already speaks volumes.

I don’t know you or the details about your life, but the first thing I must ask is if there is any possible way for you to work less hours or stop working altogether? As a stay-at-home mom myself, I consider an important part of my job is to budget so that we live within our means. We live on one income here in Orange County, and although it is sometimes embarrassing to drive a beat-up car, I prefer to be broke and at home than “wealthy” and at work.

While I applaud your efforts to minimize day care time, I imagine that both you and you husband feel overwhelmed and busy most of the time. I have worked with a baby at home (with my eldest daughter) and I know that it is stressful and time-consuming.

I keep in mind the truism that on your deathbed, you’re not going to wish you had a bigger house or a nicer car – you’ll wish you had spent more time with your kids and family.

I would also suggest that you connect with your attachment parenting community in your area. I met a lot of moms through La Leche League and attachment parenting meetups at meetup.com. Learning by imitating good parenting is an easy and natural way to pick up new skills. Spend time with parents and families you admire and respect. Support systems are important and take time to develop.

In terms of parenting books, I recommend Simplicity Parenting by Kim Payne. He is a family therapist and takes things down to the bottom-line: kids don’t need to be in scheduled lessons all day long, they mainly need you to be there, a calm routine, and calm environment.

XXXX, I hope this was helpful. I wish you the best of luck.

Take care,

Jeannie
www.womantalk.org”

I fwd’d the exchange to my mother and I appreciated her response. She was a practicing family doctor, and choosing to be a stay-at-home mom was a difficult choice for her:

“Jeannie,
You are doing a same job what I did for my generation.
I am glad that you have same idea like me. If you have enough money to live by, you should stay home with your kids.
Good job!!

From mom”

Posted in mothering | 3 Comments

Digesting Words

Posted on May 29, 2012 by jeannie

From an Art in America magazine (Jan 2012) sitting in my bathroom, I read “Being a writer is like being a piece of photographic paper. Everything makes an impression upon you, and you have to stop and take stock of what had the most impact. I almost can’t read anything without a pencil in my hand.” – Maggie Nelson

I almost can’t live without a pencil (and post-its) in my hand.

But writing is always competing with reading. Right now reading is winning. After a few days of my eyes wandering aimlessly and restlessly, I’ve picked up The Ten Thousand Things by Maria Dermout. Very excited. Not only is it described as a “novel of shimmering strangeness” (yes! yes!) but the translator, Hans Konig recounts reading the galleys of this Dutch novel for the first time like this

“It was long ago, but I remember it like yesterday: the ship, a high wind as always blowing over the North Sea, and tears running down my face. That was one of the most beautiful, and saddest, stories I had ever read.”

I am also reading the gift of an ordinary day by Katrina Kenison, which was given to me for my birthday a year ago. I like it also.

I LOVE a good book recommendation.

Posted in books | 1 Comment

Letter to Christian, Age 4 Years

Posted on May 27, 2012 by jeannie

Dear Christian,

I know Forest Kindergarten twice a week is a good thing, but I feel some trepidation – you are becoming a very robust, active guy.  I fear you will soon outstrip me in hiking and climbing. As it is, the more time we spend outdoors, the more you seem to NEED time outdoors; in other words, keeping you indoors anymore means a huge mess and you still bouncing off the walls when night falls.

In Trabuco Canyon for our Botany Basics class, before we harvested yucca fronds to make rope. If you see water, you pretty much always strip down and jump in. Sticks are still a must.

Luckily, we have plenty of opportunity to explore beautiful wilderness areas here in sunny SoCal. On top of Forest Kindie, we usually get out to the beach or hike in a nearby wilderness. This spring has been especially fun for discovering wildlife. When we hiked Falls Canyon a week ago, we were excited to see a handful of California newts in the pool underneath the falls. Then when we hiked it again in the rain this week, we saw 30+ newts before we even got to the pool! We’ve also gone on guided snake walks in Casper’s and had some really magnificent tide pooling in Laguna Beach.

At the Aerie with Yared, for Nathen and Reanna's wedding. You two boys cleaned up real nice!

There seems to be no end to fun stuff happening. The week before your 4th birthday we managed to go to Legoland, visit Rinconada Dairy for 3 nights, and celebrate a wedding in Joshua Tree. We’ve been so busy that if I ask what you want to do, these days you just want to stay home and play with Legos or go for a swim.

Swinging on a rope swing at Rinconada Dairy, up near San Luis Obispo.

A little quiet time at home is what we all need, I think. Though, I wouldn’t have missed anything we’ve done this year. How could we pass anything up? All the hiking with friends, trips to the U.S.S. Midway, and holding of baby ducklings and chicks?

Who needs Disneyland, when the friendly farmhand will give you bumpy tractor rides in the shovel?

You are so enamored with holding babies this spring, that for your birthday you asked to go to Zoomar’s petting zoo, where you happily spent hours holding and feeding bunnies and guinea pigs.

We normally avoid dairy, but I made an exception for this glass for fresh sheep's milk - only 10 minutes old!

I’ll let the rest of the pictures speak for themselves. I love you, Baby.

I love your exuberant zest for life!

Love,

Mama

Building bridges and dams in Forest Kindie at O'Neill Regional Park.

Even though we went every week, you never tired of holding the baby chicks at Jodi's house.

A Friday hike meetup at Aliso and Woods Canyon with your pal, Kyla.

A silly impromptu photo shoot with Bella.

Posted in Christian Holden | Leave a comment

So Happy, We Cried

Posted on May 20, 2012 by jeannie

 

The beautiful bride, Reanna. Note that she is wearing not a stitch of make-up. No need. The dress is modified vintage. (She took off the long sleeves, added 42 statin-covered buttons, and crocheted button holes and loops.)

Last week I experienced a deeply moving wedding ceremony. The festivities were spread out over three days, including a welcome dinner at the stylish rental house where the Alder Family were ensconced and a Korean BBQ in Joshua Tree National Park, but the absolute highlight was the marriage ceremony itself. It was breath-takingly open and vulnerable. I am still reverberating from all the emotion we released that evening.

The officiant was Grace LLwellyn, the founder of Not-Back-To-School Camp and longtime friend of both the Lester and Alder families (every one of the combined nine kids has either attended or worked at NBTSC). Besides being an unnervingly loving and present human being, Grace had also recently completed her training as a teacher of Ecstatic Dance – and lead the congregation on an emotional journey wherein we were invited to support and love Nathen and Reanna for the rest of their lives. We poured out our hearts to them and they drunk it all in. We even spontaneously sang Amazing Grace, because, as one guest put it, she’d never encountered a more perfect or fitting moment to sing this song.

The wedding was not easy. I would even say that it was physically challenging, with the sunny heat and lengthy distances between sites, but in the end we bonded together as a larger family tribe more for the trials. The ceremony took place on the third day of celebration, so most of us knew eachother. We were all at the Aerie (Eric Mueller’s house) in Pioneertown in the early evening. The views in the golden light were spectacular.

We stood or sat and watched Reanna approach with her mother and father at either side. That seemed so right for both parents to be by Reanna.

There was no ring bearer; instead when Reanna asked for the ring, her parents and three brothers passed it down to her. Likewise, when Nathen needed his ring, his parents and five brothers passed it hand to hand. This was the nature of the ceremony, and no doubt reflects the future of their lives together: inclusive.

The ceremony was so beautiful, in fact, that it was a privilege to be there. As my father-in-law put it, ” Grace made a living experiece of an age old ritual.”  What a gift to have you both joined together in our community.

Nathen and Reanna, Many blessings on your new family.

Note: There are many more pictures on Facebook and at other blogs. Darlene posted a few here.



Posted in wedding | 1 Comment